OverHeard on Country Radio

Gianluca's daycare teacher listens to a country station at low volume during the day. One morning I was there feeding him, and I overheard the strangest song. At first it was standard country song fare: some dude is all heartbroken over some girl, so he's drinking, but he can't drink enough to forget her. So he "put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger." Wha-wha-WHAT? What the hell does that even mean? Well, whatever he did killed him because they buried him under a tree. Next verse: the chick who wouldn't date the drunk was so miserable over his death, she started drinking, but couldn't drink enough to forget him. So, she put the bottle to her head, pulled the trigger, and they buried her under the same tree.

In the few beats of silence after the song ended, I wondered what sort of damage had just been done to all the innocent babies in the nursery, because I myself would never be the same. Then the DJ swooped in to proclaim, "Good times, great country!" Good times, indeed. Country music people, you need to lighten up.