Northwest Arkansas Crime Report 11/07

Nov. 22 - 11:34 a.m. A man at 12230 Rose Cemetery Road, Prairie Grove, reported exhaust fans to a chicken house turned off and about 1,500 chickens died.
Is it too late to add chicken to the Thanksgiving dinner menu? Waste not, want not.

Nov. 24 - 12:29 p.m. A man on South 19th Street reported his brother-in-law standing outside with a club saying “blood will be shed.”
If my husband stepped out of line, I wish my brother would come get all Braveheart on our front lawn, but he probably never gets that drunk.

2:57 p.m. A woman at 706 Dewoody Drive reported a turkey fryer stolen from the back of her pickup.
You know, you can get one at Wal-Mart that isn’t already coated with used grease and turkey fat for, like, fifty bucks. Seriously.

10:53 p.m. A man at Buffalo Wild Wings, 2707 Moberly Lane, reported an intoxicated man punching vehicles and the mailbox and refusing to leave.
Oh, he’ll leave all right, once the buzz wears off and he notices his hands are hamburger.

Nov 26 - 5:49 p.m. A woman at 16801 U.S. 71 in Winslow reported her neighbor shot her dog again.
It’s the “again” that kills me.

7:05 p.m. A caller at George’s Hatchery, 402 W. Robinson Ave., reported a car stolen.
Go, baby chickens, go!