7: 52 a. m. A man on Raedels Avenue reported his girlfriend had a knife and was scaring his children with it.
I'm just making breakfast for the kids. How else do you get the eggs open?
2: 21 p. m. A man at 13658 Rocky Dell Hollow Road, Gravette, reported chickens stolen.
Maybe they just done run off.
4: 02 p. m. A woman at 2605 N. Villa Blvd. reported a woman trying to steal her shed and threatening her.
Those crazy meth-heads will steal anything that isn't a semi-permanent structure in the backyard. Wait.
4: 03 p. m. A woman on East Central Avenue reported being assaulted by her boyfriend and his mother.
That slut is really, really not good enough for her son.
5: 18 p. m. A man at 3601 W. Hemlock St. reported two tools, a microcassette and tobacco stolen from his vehicle.
Thou shalt not take another man's Skoal. It is written.
March 23, 4: 05 a. m. A man at Holiday Inn, 1500 S. 48 th St., reported an intoxicated man in the office had no pants on, didn’t know where his pants were and had no I. D. on him.
That's typically kept in a wallet, right?