Missing them already

I am leaving tomorrow for a business trip that will take me out of state for the next four days. This will be the first time I have been gone from Luca and only the second time away from Paolo. Sam's parents are traveling here to help out in my absence because they are kind, but also because Sam and I have not told them that their grandsons have turned to the dark side.

Paolo is a good kind of crazy: gymnastic, imaginative, a voracious reader and an unstoppable talker. In all seriousness, if his very life depended on his silence, he would not reach age seven. Much of what he says is funny and interesting, but the boy has no internal filter. Whatever he is thinking comes right out. He wonders aloud about approaching activities, toy acquisitions, or snacks again and again, despite having full information. Still, he is hands-down my favorite son right now.

Luca has the devil in him. He is on the verge of getting kicked out of daycare for biting other children. My son is a biter. I fought the label until I saw the little Damien in action. He has been biting the bejesus out of his own brother. Apart from the biting, he is generally batshit crazy, which is not a good crazy. Like his older brother, he climbs on tables, leaps off couches and tears around the house at blinding speed. But, oh, he can be sweet. When he pats my face wearing an angelic smile, I am convinced he is too cute to be human. Then the wooden toy he is holding in his other hand connects with my skull, and I remember that he is, in fact, not human at all.

And yet, I am already missing my little lunatics. I am also already feeling very, very sorry for their grandparents. I had better put away this sadness and enjoy my time apart because, after four motherless days with Crazy 1 and Crazy 2, I will never be allowed to leave again.

Orientation: Getting to Know Me

New Co-Worker: I've been married to my wonderful husband for twelve years, and he has given me two terrific kids.

Me: My husband didn't give me my children. I'm pretty sure I earned them.

Thursday OverThink #7, courtesy of Floyd Landis

The 32nd Joe Martin Stage Race is nearly upon us. For you non-locals, it’s a professional cycling event held right here in Fayetteville; look for it May 7-10. Some cycling enthusiasts are all aflutter over the news that Floyd Landis will be here to participate in the upcoming event.

In this news story, the race director claims that Landis is, next to the vaunted Lance Armstrong, the most well known American cyclist. I argue that distinction should go to George Hincapie. Not only is he an amazing athlete, he is a strangely cool guy. Hincapie married a Podium Girl,* launched his own sportswear line, and lives in South Carolina where he's building a "professional training village" for cyclists. Talk about living the dream. By contrast, Landis has been off the scene for years, what with that whole getting banned from professional cycling for doping thing.

I guess you could say Landis is more memorable. He was a soft-cell feature story: a former Mennonite who bucked family and religion to follow his dream of cycling and won the biggest bike race in the world. Until the routine blood-test results came back. After being found guilty of doping, even after appeal, stripped of his 2006 Tour de France title, fired from his cycling team, divorced, and banned from professional cycling through January 2009, Landis is back. He will be racing in Fayetteville as a member of Team OUCH. How appropriate.

I don’t wonder at his gall in returning to professional cycling. The dude has staggering mortgages and legal fees to pay. Apart from those electric Amish fireplaces, I don’t know what else Mr. Landis is qualified to do. However, I disagree with celebrating a cheater coming to town.

*Podium Girls are the hot chicks who pose with and smooch the race winners post-event and hand out the prizes.

Things that are good this morning

Freshly sliced mango for breakfast

Brand new windshield wipers in a Spring rain

Just-woken toddler stumbling to me, heavy-lidded, for a hug

Northwest Arkansas Crime Report, April 1, 2009

The newspaper website has done something screwy with my local Police Calls. I still haven’t figured out where they are now, but I found some real treasures in the Benton County Daily Record, which is the county north of mine. Read on and you’ll agree that these will do in a pinch.

Bella Vista incidents

· At 5:58 a.m. Friday, the Benton County Sheriff's Office requested help finding two donkeys just outside the city limits near the Boys and Girls Club on Arkansas Highway 279.

· At 8:24 p.m. Friday, a woman on Enfield Drive was reported missing, and her name was entered into the National Crime Information Center's missing-persons database. She was found a few hours later in Rogers.

· At 2:50 a.m. Saturday, a woman reported that her brother was causing problems. He had been drinking and smoking pot. He left before the police arrived.

· At 5:15 a.m. Saturday, a suspicious man wearing heavy clothing was reported going in and out of the restroom on Blowing Springs Road.

· At 11:51 a.m. Sunday, a caller on Kingsland and Lambeth Drive said it looked as though two men in a pickup truck were trying to steal a trailer carrying fiber-optic cable. Everything was OK; the men worked there.

· At 12:05 p.m. Sunday, a woman called to report that her sister wouldn't leave the house.

· At 12:34 p.m. Sunday, a woman reported that her husband was at her house and wouldn't leave.

· At 12:01 a.m. Monday, someone at Mercy Medical Center in Rogers called to report giving a patient morphine and telling him not to drive, but the patient left anyway and was heading north on U.S. Highway 71.

· At 1:35 p.m. Monday, a caller reported receiving a note from a stranger who claimed the caller damaged a vehicle in a parking lot at 1801 Forest Hills Blvd.

· At 2:40 p.m. Monday, a caller on Littrell Drive reported finding a syringe and a substance in a used car he had just purchased.

· At 6:57 p.m. Monday, a verbal argument was reported between a man on Evesham Lane and his neighbor. The man said the neighbor's son pulled a BB gun and pointed it at him. An officer reported the son's weapon was a Nerf-type gun.