Northwest Arkansas Crime Report, February 2009

Feb 13, 5:33 p.m. A woman on West Dot Tipton Road reported her child's stepgrandmother screaming at her.
Oh yeah, well my ex-uncle’s second cousin says you started it.

Feb 11, 3:31 p.m. A man at 601 W. Easy St. reported evicted tenants took a wall, cabinets and a window, destroying the apartment.
I’ve heard of unscrewing all the lightbulbs, but the WALL? Won’t your next apartment already have one?

Feb 10, 10:54 a.m. A woman on West Bedford Loop reported finding a crack pipe in a couch and items missing after a friend of her mother's boyfriend stayed over.
You shouldn’t let your mom set you up.

You’re Calling From Where?

Feb 6 3:51 p.m. A caller at Newlywed Foods, 1111 Angel Drive, reported fraud.
Was it Renee Zellweger? Okay, that’s a dated joke. It’s been a slow month.

Feb 9 8:53 a.m. A caller with Hott Wheels Used Autos, 2294 W. Henri De Tonti Blvd., Springdale, reported a pickup stolen.
Now that truck is really hot. Har har har.

Feb. 11 5:13 a.m. A woman at Days Inn and Suites, 3408 Moberly Lane, reported an employee came into her room without permission.
Tomorrow, either hang the Do Not Disturb sign outside your door or learn to say “No gracias, ocupada, or no me gusta clean towels” or something.

12:10 p.m. A caller at Sleepy Hollow Store, 12761 S. Arkansas 59, reported a theft.
Come on, Headless Horseman, stop calling. We will let you know if we find your head.

11:30 p.m. A woman with Everett Maxey Auto, 2517 S.E. Best Lane, reported a man hanging out looking at vehicles.
Darlin’ I know it’s your first day, but that there’s a potential customer.

Feb 13 7:46 p.m. A woman at Great Day Skate Place, 1615 Moberly Lane, reported a man and woman arguing.
Also known as Pretty Good Day Except for That Shouting Couple Skate Place.