I would not, could not, with a hippie.

Yesterday, Sam took the boys to the library for a celebration of Dr. Seuss's birthday. And then today he suggested we join a commune. I think he got the idea off the side of a jar of organic peanut butter. While I will eat the nut butter products of the sun children, I will not live amongst them. Below is a list of random reasons I would make a terrible hippie.

1. I do not want to milk anything. Ever. (Myself excluded, of course.)
2. I do not want to make or wear rope sandals.
3. I have a 401(k).
4. I do not want someone else, of either gender, sleeping with my husband.
5. I do not want to fertilize a garden with my own waste.
6. My hair is not the right texture for dreadlocks.
7. I want my children to learn more than hammock-weaving and animal husbandry.
8. I do not like Kool-Aid.
9. I am a terrible drummer.
10. I do not want anyone besides myself to breastfeed my children.
11. I do not look good in curtain.
12. Jesus does not want me for a sunbeam. Trust me on this.