L&D Books dying to be written

Since I'm a veteran, I'm not planning to attend childbirth classes or watch Babies: Special Delivery marathons on TLC this time around. I'm thinking it might be a good idea to check out a labor & delivery book just to refresh my memory about stages of labor and whatnot. I'd prefer to skip the blessings and miracles and promises of painlessness, but there don't seem to be any books out there that fit the bill. Where are these titles?:

• Preparing a Birth Plan, and Other Wastes of Time
• It's Supposed to Hurt
• Mirror, Mirror on the Wall: Take That Down
• Exactly How Much is This Going to Suck?
• Negotiating the Pitfalls of Labor/Management Relations: How to Tell Your Doctor What He/She Can Do with Those Forceps Without Sounding Rude
• What Goes Up Must Come Down
• Not All Babies Are Cute: How to Love a Conehead