9:23 a.m. A woman at 3100 Old Missouri Road, Elkins, reported a neighbor stole cattle and other property.
2:27 p.m. A man on Arkansas 264, Healing Springs, reported two asphalt rollers stolen.
Well, they couldn't have gone far…or fast.
1:36 p.m. A woman on North College Avenue reported a cook threatened her, saying he had a big shiny gun to stick down her throat.
Couldn't you just spit on my burger?
2:48 p.m. A woman on Southeast Falcon Lane reported two sisters throwing dishes at each other.
I’m never babysitting here again.
4:30 p.m. A caller in Winslow reported a drunken male acquaintance hit him with a truck door.
Was it attached to a truck?
4:49 p.m. A woman at Hobby Lobby, 5244 W. Sunset Ave., reported a male acquaintance ramming her vehicle with his.
I can’t believe you bought the last mauve crackle spray paint, you bitch!
7:54 p.m. A woman at 14918 Crawford Point Road reported she believes a UPS driver stole her dog.
Just sign the card for re-delivery.
11:46 p.m. A man on West Maple Avenue reported being shot in the eye by his wife.
Stop looking at me like that.